Day 18: Gods Know What Time, Part III

I didn't know how many of those tenacles-or-vines were in the walls, and I didn't know if they could reach me or if they could crawl out of their holes or what. I also had no clue whether the fish in the water were biters. So I suppose what I did next was pretty stupid, but I just had to get a light going if I was going to do anything else at all.

So, blind in the dark, I leapt off the pile of rubble I was on into the water and ran sloshing across the room. With every step I wondered if something was going to bite me from below or strangle me from above. I had to estimate how far it was to where the lantern was coming down, and I stopped short of that point. I really didn't want to fight tentacles in the dark.

I fell to my knees in the water, pulled my sword from its scabbard with one hand and held it over me as I scrambled around looking for the lantern. Splash, splash splash... mud, rock, mud, water... Something! Something wiry. It must have been the handle of the lantern.

I stumbled back toward the rubble where my backpack was, pricking my foot on a sharp stone as I went. Cursing, I fell into the water near the rubble--I could just feel it with one hand--and held my sword with my mouth by biting onto it. That hurt like crazy; it was just too heavy to do that. But I did it, because I was not going to get this lantern any wetter than it already was and I needed at least one free hand to go through my pack.

I found my tinder pouch quickly; getting it open one-handed was something else. The thing is designed to be watertight and that means it's tied tightly shut. Finally I had piece of flint in my hand and set about scraping it along my sword to light the lantern.

I heard Tallow yelling up above me but couldn't make out what he was saying. I didn't care, either. Water had run out of the lantern when I opened it, but maybe the wick was dry. Sparks, nothing. Sparks, nothing. Sparks, nothing. Sparks, nothing.

If this was a story, I'd handily get the thing lit just in time to turn around and heroically fight the tentacles. But it isn't a story, it's life. I spent long minutes trying over and over and over. Tallow yelled to hang in there and his voice went silent above. I heard a splash-splash in the water, stopped to listen for a second then furiously kept trying. Sparks, nothing, sparks, nothing.

I spat out my sword and and groaned through my aching mouth. I wiped off my hands and felt desparately for a part of my clothing that wasn't wet. I wiped the wick off and tried again. Spark, nothing. Spark, nothing. Spark, nothing.

In all those minutes nothing attacked me. So when light began to shimmer down from up above and I could see that I was not surrounded by enemies I wasn't surprised. Not relieved either, just done. Up above I could see a shadowy figure holding up a guttering, smoky torch.

"Hey Cap, I got a couple of these. Can't you just change out the wick?"

I looked at the lantern in my hands and wanted to smash it. But he was right, I had a dry wick in the broken lantern in my bag. With dry hands and light to work by it didn't take long. To my embarassment the new wick worked on the very first try. Now we had light from both above and below.

Not a single tentacle protruded from any hole or crevice. Giving the torch to Grens Tallow started to lower the tope again, this time from a different spot and with no bait hanging from it. As it went past the band of holes, nothing happened. For a second. And then... whip, snap! A few feet of rope fell down to the water below as the tentacle cut through it.

"Shit, this ain't gonna work Captain. Hey wizard, can't you just poof them up here or something?"

Grens didn't answer right away. I looked up at him, full of hope. I was freezing cold and sopping wet and I didnt want Gunth to die down there. Even Tallow held his tongue and waited for an answer.

When Grens spoke, I heard him but couldn't see where he was up there. "I'm not a wizard," he said.

"Ah..." I groaned, as Tallow shouted, "Fucker!" And again in symphony: "What do you do?" (that's me) and "What are you good for?" (from Tallow).

No answer.

"Look, I'm not joking," said Tallow. He spoke slowly and menacingly. "We're a fucking team. Now tell me what in the name of all the holy gods your job is, or I'll throw you down there and you can lead them out personally!"

"I..." Grens had to pause to make sure our verbal barrage was finished. "I'm a specialist."

I don't think any of us had anything to say to that. Tallow made choking noises. I tried to focus and come up with something else.

"Hey Tallow, there's another way out down here. Maybe it connects back with the other tunnels somewhere."

"Doesn't seem safe," Tallow called. "What if those things are in there?"

"Then I'll have to fight 'em."

"With the big guy on your back?"

Shit. He was right. I couldn't leave Gunth just lying there like a dinner platter, even if I intended to come back for him. I walked over to the tunnel entrance, keeping a wary eye on the holes in the wall above me, and held up the lantern. I could see maybe twenty feet in. No major holes or cracks in the walls, at least that far. But with Gunther over my shoulder and a lantern in the other hand I wouldn't be able to have my sword ready.

"Tallow, you know any clever ways to pick people up?"

"I wish."

I sighed. I went over and checked Gunth, who was still breathing shallow, still bleeding, and still unconscious. I sheathed my sword, set down my lantern, and was just about to heave him up onto my shoulder when Tallow called out again.

"Wait, I do! His junk!"

I stared up at the silhouette above me. "What?"

"Use his junk." Evidently I was being rather thick about it, and Tallow scoffed at me. "The lantern. Hang it from his belt right above his junk after you lift him up. That way it won't press against his legs and burn him, and you'll have a free hand."

I looked at Gunther, slumped in my arms and half-sitting in the water. I had to admit, it was a good plan. "Sorry buddy," I told him.

I got Gunther lifted up and then reached for the lantern. Since he was face-down over my shoulder I was actually hanging the light more from his ass. There was a leather strap on the handle that I used like a frog to suspend the light from his belt. It was probably awful warm against his buns but he was soaked with cold water so I'm sure he would've approved.

With the asslight beaming from my left shoulder, I drew my sword once again and got ready to head down the tunnel.

"We'll take one of these branches and try to meet up with you," said Tallow. "You have a preference?"

"Left," I said. "Always go left." Weird, I would've thought left was unlucky, but the Nameless Jerk disagreed.

And that was about the time that a bad day started to get worse.