If there’s anything a body needs after being on the road for a week, it’s a full night of rest in a warm building.
And that’s the one thing you can’t count on during a campaign.
The other guys didn’t get much info earlier today. Gunther got drunk. Says he talked to a lot of people, but they were looser with their beer than their talk. Tallow got himself a kiss from a local girl, but she must not have known anything either. Grens was the only one who got anything interesting.
“The cautious cow dies in the mountains,” he reported back.
“What?”
“Inside.” He led me and Tallow (Gunther wasn’t back yet) into the hostel and wouldn’t say more till we were alone.
“The cautious cow dies in the mountains,” he repeated. “It’s a password.”
“For what?” asked Tallow.
“A gambling parlour.”
We waited for more. He didn’t go on.
“So what the fuck?” Tallow demanded finally. “You think you’re some kind of master spy for getting a password?”
Grens just smiled. I said it for him: “’t’s more than you got.” That started him grumbling.
“So Grens,” I finally asked, “Why do we want to go gambling?”
“I don’t,” said Grens. Again he stopped.
“Just talk, man!” That was Tallow.
“The constable’s hiding something, right?” asked Grens. “Maybe this is it.”
“We’re not here to look into graft.” Tallow again.
I chimed in: “Maybe Grens has something. Constable sure doesn’t want us going after hobgoblins. And he can make it pretty hard on us if he wants.”
“All the more reason to leave it alone,” said Tallow. “We should bribe that prick so he lets us do our job.”
That was the beginning of a huge argument, and we still didn’t have much info to go on. Grens went off to collect Gunther while Tallow and I hashed it out. In the end we agreed to let the gambling thing go unless it became relevant, and ignore the constable unless he became hostile. Fair compromise.
So our plan was to sleep well, eat well, and head out to look for tracks in the morning. None of us had met any local trackers who were sober and willing, so we knew we’d be going it alone.
We didn’t know we’d have the whole town against us before morning.
What happened was this: Grens went to sleep early, Gunth and I went for drinks at the tavern, and Tallow said he was off to see the girl from before. Well I had a few rounds but kept a slow pace, and we had a pretty good time. Even got some of the locals to talk with us—mostly mine rumours, stories of gold still to be found out there, but also some of the wilder stories of the local families. Usual fare for a country pub.
Then not two hours later, who should come in the door with a big grin but Tallow, the loudmouth. He buys a round for the whole joint and plops down. Then he toasts:
“To heavy paps, parted laps, and satisfied chaps. May we all know the love of a blonde girl!”
He had this look like he was waiting for applause. Instead he got silence. Silence, then one chair scraping across the floor. A burly man stood up, a guy with tattoos and a limp. He picked up a whole bottle of whiskey from the bar, turned it upside down and let it pour out. And he came at Tallow.
Gunther and I didn’t move to help him, but Tallow dodged the first blow and returned it with a hard punch. Two guys came up on either side of us and made to lay into us—one with his fists at me, and the other with a stool at Gunth.
I got out of the way and Gunther didn’t. That stool cracked on his shoulder and head. He let out a bellow and I drew my sword. Before I could strike Gunth smashed his fist down on my sword arm. “I” got the message and put my sword back. Good thing, too—it wasn’t until afterward that I saw two blokes with crossbows near the door.
Murder averted, but now we were behind. The guy on me worked my ribs over and I got a good blow in on his chin. Then a mug whacked the side of my head and I was punching at two guys. Gunth raised up his sword like a staff—it was still in its wooden scabbard and white linen wrap—and he knocked one fellow out cold. Tallow was doing alright, getting a lot of hits in, but the guy on him wasn’t going down. I beat one fellow onto the floor and took a hard blow across the back. Just as I thought I was going to be overwhelmed there was an explosion near me that damn near knocked me over.
It was that constable again, and he had thrown something on the floor. The noise was short, but deafening. He was yelling something I couldn’t make out. Tallow was hauled over to him by two farmers. I yelled at the top of my lungs that he didn’t start it, and pretty soon I was hauled out too. I flailed around till the constable kneed me in the gut. Gunther was mostly unconscious and it took three guys to drag him out.
So all three of us were thrown in the forsaken gaol and our weapons taken off us. Constable’s men robbed us of our money, saying it was to pay the damages at the pub. My book almost got taken but they got distracted, and since they had figured out it had no spells in it they tossed it to me after teasing me a while. Constable’s second was even kind enough to piss in our water urn before he left us for the night.
Now it’s just the Constable outside, a finally-quiet Tallow, a badly-concussed Gunther, and me with my book. Gunther is bleeding from his head, and I bandaged him with his own shirt. I have to keep him at least semi-conscious until his head clears, so no sleep for me. I have to admit, looking at him is downright scary.
Count Yank, your hand-picked warriors humbly thank you for their good fortune in serving you.